Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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