The maid of honor just puked.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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