If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
