Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
