thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
