Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
