YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize