call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
