Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
