I think I died a long time ago.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
