The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
