Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
smell my finger.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
