if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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