ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
