why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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