I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know her cup size but not her name....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
