Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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