I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
