Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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