I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
