She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
