why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
