I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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