I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
