Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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