I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i already hear my dad disowning me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
