dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
