Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just want nice things and good sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
