Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
