where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
