can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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