I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
