Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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