I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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