Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish you could order shots online.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
