He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
