I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
