I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
