i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
