New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
