HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
