I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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