She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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