i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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