Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
