so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
