Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
