You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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