i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
