By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
