did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
