so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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