I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
whose parrot is this?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
