Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
