I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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