return my video game
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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