is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
